just so you know, i'm not jewish.

nobody knows me. that is good, i think. i think i am a mental hermit. i keep my thoughts and issues to myself, and will militantly defend it against anyone that dare intrude my space. i suppose that isn't helping me socially, but i don't really care. the inner world i created in my mind is too beautiful to be tarnished by external social villains.

as cold and cut off i may seem, i am heavily influenced by my surrounding, and i can't help but feel a little disturbed by their behaviours. them, and their donuts.

keep your donuts, bitches, i got my muffins.

p.s - this is all cryptic, i know. that is how i roll.

i envy people who are airy, they float through one conversational topic to another seamlessly and without much restraint. that quality is absent from my personality make-up, and i doubt i could ever possess that.

muffins are clearly the superior ones.

while we're in the subject of judi dench, this reminds me - i need to acquire a copy of 'ladies in lavender'. i love the quaintness of the entire movie, and the colour palette/scheme of the set and costumes just set the tone, and i love the longing aspect of judi dench's character. i enjoy watching people who are afflicted with tragedy in their love life. i relate to that.

no, i still don't know mariah carey. but it is fun to imagine.

i love taking journeys (real and metaphorical), don't you?

hold your resentment and envy. it's not my fault you're expelled from your mother's unholy 'yoni' and plopped to the ground in other 'lesser' sign...god, i'm glad i'm not one of those geminis or libras...

i am insane. i need my muffins now, dammit.

secretly i kind of enjoyed it, but i fucking hate the instructors - a frigid closeted queen who is physically and verbally abusive , and his fag-hag instructor companion who needs a little make-up tips from bobbi brown.

i should crank up my stereo and blast me some 'achy breaky heart'. oh, man how can anyone forget that song. i'm glad he's making a come back and his daughter is enjoying some mainstream success. billy ray cyrus is still sizzling though. i'd tap that anytime. i still love his minor part in mulholland drive - that was the only reason i watched mulholland drive...how sad is that.

miro moreira - yes.

david duchovny - only when drunk.

sylvester stallone - fuck no. what the hell was he thinking with rambo...utterly cheesy and disgusting. i am so disgusted by that, i am tempted to hurl muffins and kindergarteners. kidding.

i've been listening to songs by edith piaf on my razr2 v9. i'm feeling a little french-chic today, i hope this attitude carried throughout the whole evening.

nothing else to add on to this. just so you know - whoever you are.

i need muffins, people. muffins. maybe even one of those cheese muffin abominations.

don't let this information fall in the wrong hands.

on another note, i changed the wallpaper of my mobile phone - from marilyn monroe to rafael lazzini. just so you know.

wouldn't life be easy if we can install a program in our brain that would remove actions and thoughts that harbours potential psychological, physical, and emotional harm to ourselves?

maybe a little discord my way isn't so bad after all. i need a little something to stir up my routine and shake my foundation to the core. i am so fickle. am i grateful for eris' intereference or am i pissed beyond belief? i am such a mystery to myself. i need muffins now! i might have some banana walnut muffins on my way home.

in these stressful times, i would love nothing more than to be surrounded by five or six of my muffin friends, but alas, excess sugar in my bloodstream tend to cloud my judgement, so i stick to a high protein, low sugar dinner/supper.

on another note, the yogurt thing is working. i can feel it. now, if only i could stop stress eating, i would see a major achievement...

while i have suspected this for quite some time, this is an interesting revelation, and i can't wait to see what will eventually come of this. i shall dwell on this.

i do things without fully analysing the situation. why must it be all or nothing with me. i need to do things in moderation - i could have only transferred a quarter of the roses.

why i have nore paid much attention to this lady's voice is a mystery to me. fantastic raw unpolished voice.

the point we learnt from the post above is that, when i'm tired, things don't make sense. feel free to hurl obscenities at me for my tired ramblings.

on another note, i bought a - bag? packet? - of dried rose buds/blooms. i'm not exactly sure what is the usage, but it is edible, so most probably it's for herbal infusion teas. i've dropped four blooms to my green tea brew, and the fragrance is quite subtle. i need to think of more ways to utilise the rose buds for consumption. right i'm thinking, toll house cookies with a healthy sprinkling of dried, semi-crushed rose petals, and replacing the milk chocolate chunks with white chocolate chunks. that would be nice. perhaps a dollop of raspberry jam to the batter to give it a little tangy taste. if all else fail, i'll just munch on the roses one by one.

this is so filthy co-ed...nasty.

jesus fucking christ. i'm insane.

i highly doubt dan renzi have this problem. or bradford shellhammer, for that matter.

will it help unload my burden on a short term basis? yes. but i don't think that will solve the issues in the long run.

kidding. don't fucking call the cops on me. here, have a muffin.

i've become too wicked in general. i need blueberry muffins, stat!

if you happen to be one of those freaks that enjoy or have tasted one of those filth, please send me your particulars and a picture of your mother, so i might hurl insults and spew obscenities at it, while boogie woogie-ing to gloria gaynor and other 70s disco divas.

sorry.

i feel as though lipstick jungle is the smarter, brunette elder sister to a blonder, airier cashmere mafia. both are sharp, but lipstick jungle hold more edge. but cashmere mafia's bubbliness might score more points with the generic viewers.

the universe works in mysterious ways.

that guy is a bastard. he ruined what would be a perfect 3 month happiness stretch. i need to consume massive amount of muffins now. i hope to god that elevates my mood.

where's dr.phil when i need him. perhaps i should call mariah; i'm sure she's back from her 'adventures of mimi' tour.

i never wanted to be a rose. why can't i be a lotus, or an orchid?

i have been listening to 'tambourine' by eve (featuring swiss beatz) on loop for hours. there must be some psychological explanation behind this.

i might have consumed too much caffeine today, and liking it. i am so naughty. and i might have a bite of coffee muffin with vanilla frosting soon. ooh, god, i'm fucking dirty!

only a moist blueberry muffin could restore my faith in humanity. life is unkind to a virgo. we shouldn't dwell on these matters; it's not good for our mind.

so true.

i tend to ponder about scenarios that might seem quirky - or sometimes plain 'oh my god, someone forgot their medication' - but i take pride in thinking these things. it's always amusing to me that even though people are granted free will and higher intelligence, we still behave like sheeps, always following the flock and never dared to deviate. why must there be reasons to things that we do?

honestly, i would love to walk to a park one sunday afternoon and by god! i better find a grossly obese man in his 40s laying on the plain grass with limbs outstretched, and whispering "i'm a pretty butterfly...i'm a pretty butterfly...". if i don't someone's hamster will get it.

this is tragic.

if only i'm a dog person.