wiki.dumper
- friedrich nietzsche
people.and.stuff
magmozine
a.guy.site
bad.chinese.mama
jejune.net
a.cause.des.garcons
spit.on.a.stranger
sluggernaut
honeyee
zefrank
born.a.waterhead
diane.pernet
tribe.net
gallery.of.the.absurd
world.community.grid
smarty.pants
bradford.shellhammer
wonder.boy
julie.fredrickson
fashionologie
i'm a sick bastard, but i never denied that. i like muffins.
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this is as stupid as it is tiresome, but like any junkie, i have spent way too much time on it and my life becomes dependent on worrying and shifting problems from one side of my mind to the other that i don't know how to live with a perfectly balanced, worry-free mind. this is a little troubling, but for now, i'll package this little problem nicely, and shove it to the back of my mind while i entertain other amusing worries i have.
i realise that my life is defined by worry. once i have resolved a particular issue, another one materializes from nowhere to replace the void the resolved issue left. i also realise how i have a tendency to run away from problems rather than solving it. i simply shift one problem to the deep crevices of my mind and shift the lesser problems to the front, and once i'm bored worrying about the lesser problem, i shift it to other side of my mind, and bring the old problems back to ponder on it some more, and hopefully, chip some pieces off it to feel good about how i've made improvements.
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i would like to make a little trip to barcelona. then as i checked out of the terminal, i would book a flight back to my home. that would be interesting. that would be really interesting.
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i wonder if someone thought of inventing mascara for pubes...and don't even ask me why i ask that question, it just intrigues me.
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correction to the previous post: i'm not weird, i'm unique.
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someone in tribe.net mentioned this of someone with mercury in 12th house placement:
"Not only does it take some pain and/or solitude to form a 12th house mind, but society doesn't highly value a perspective it can't understand or have explained to it in words"
no wonder i am weird.
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this is so footloose. why can't we live in a world where people can prance without being thrown 'the glance'? this puzzles me.
i feel like prancing. i need to prance, but i fear prancing is a little to 'cirque du homo', so i shan't.
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on another note, i have been listening to alot of britney spear's songs on her blackout album, and i am disgusted at myself. i am so ashamed that i voluntarily dip myself in a running river to cleanse my soul of the filth that penetrated my core. well, actually its not so much a river as a pond. and i would have dipped myself a little longer (and i don't mind the algaes, and floating half-decayed koi fish), if some old lady didn't keep shooing me away and threatening to call the cops for trespassing on private property. whatever. some people ca nbe so thoughtless and rude.
i watched celine dion's latest video - 'taking chances' (maybe not so latest, but it is to me since i have delayed viewing it), and i must say i'm a little so-so on that one. it's a little too campy for my taste - though i usually love campy stuff, but come on, the leather jacket, karate scenes, and the whole secret agent vibe...too liberace meets ricky martin (via madonna).the song is a little weak, though i love her voice.
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maricopa, arizona. i wonder what is interesting over there. maybe just a bunch of fat people dressed as bunnies. i love fat people dressed as bunnies. just makes me want to spit at them.
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i'm getting good at this.
i'm in the middle, attempting to whisper both sides. this is so intriguing. this is what elizabeth I must have felt to please her ministers on dangling the possibility of marriage, while avoiding the pitfall of marriage by never intending to be betrothed to any man.
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she is such a smarty pants. love her.
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a little too much, i think. though i'm lukewarm on chocolates and cocoa related stuff. just so you know.
when people converse about orchids, cats, and perfumes, i get excited. engaging in a conversation on those topics is equivalent to 'mental masturbation' to me. that is how excited i am about those topics.
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i must punch someone in the gut. please e-mail me your particulars and when shall we rendezvous so i could complete this act. once in a life time chance, buddy.
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i hope hillary clinton lose the election. she strikes me as a cunt.
i have been reading about republican presidential candidate, ron paul for the past few minutes. although, i should be writing a press release that was supposed to due two days ago. i heart ron paul. i wonder what it's like to sleep with ron paul. is he a doggy style kinda guy, or a simple 'blowjob-is-fine' type. all right, i will admit the thought is disturbing and unnatural, but i think he would make a wonderful president.
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portions of my life are largely undiscovered, and i do hope i will be fully aware of my being in totality before i exhale my last breath. it would be a sad way to leave without knowing everything there is to know about your self.
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when i got home, i need to liste nto donna summer's 'bad girls'. there's nothing like enjoying christmas eve listening to disco divas and a cup of green tea.
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you can ring my bell...ring my bell.
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concentrate....focus...
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i have been like a pampered cat being petted too much with food handed to me on a silver platter. in a few days, there will be other cats in my territory, and i musn't lose my owner's affection, else i will be discarded like yesterday's paper. i think it's time to sharpen my claws and heighte nmy senses. there's no way i am giving up this pedestal to any random kitties that dare come my way.
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she is playing a wonderful social game. i don't think it is wise to be that close with her. this is so elizabeth I and mary of scots. i think i will be elizabeth I.
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i should be writing a press release that is due in three hours, but i have yet to pen a word and am distracted by downloading louise brooke's pictures.
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i would like to kidnap a russian. then i would taunt and torment him by speaking french for three days straight, after which, i would enjoy some french pastries and chocolate croissant in front of him till he begs me to end his russian life. yes, my head could go into dark places like that.
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that (merry) son of a bitch.
i heart bjork. i heart matthew settle. i heart the pope (pick one). i heart the cleaning lady at the office. i heart everyone this very moment. this temporary happiness is unexplainable, but i suspect someone might have spiked my soy milk with 'happy pills'. i bet you it's one of santa's elves.
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mostly the putin part. yes, some might say he looked like dobbie from the second (or third) installment of harry potter movie, but i bet you he's dynamite in the sack. if you catch my drift.
i relate to things that are odd, rejected, misunderstood, villified. that is why sometimes i wonder what it will be like to live in a magical world filled with weeds (plant kind, not the harvested marijuana), carnivorous plants, broken glasses, wicked witch of the west, and vladimir putin.
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i wonder what it would be like to have a tame silver fox for a pet. i have this urge to acquire one of belyaev's tamed silver foxes (google it if you don't know). i wonder if it will catch on as chinchilla did as the craze hit our shores. given the ministry's severe restrictions, tame silver foxes would be unlikely granted permission as pets.
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i'm addicted. i'm white-knuckling the urge to obtain several pots (of venus fly trap). i need to go to rehab.
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things are less snippy now, but more complex. things are so abstract, and i don't know where to start before i could fully analyze this situation. it's kind of assembling a jigsaw puzzle of a picasso, and not seeing the painting before hand. not a good metaphor, i know, but that is the best i could come up with at this very moment.
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blanche dubois: whoever you are, i have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
that is a classic line. love it to pieces. dare i say it - love it more than my chinchilla. there, i said it.
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stella: he smashed all the lightbulbs with the heel of my slipper.
blanche duBois: And you let him? didn't run, didn't scream?
stella: actually, i was sorta thrilled by it.
stella was such a tramp, wasn't she? i must watch a streetcar named desire again today. movies with young marlon brando, nothing can go wrong.
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however, two days ago, i purchased a wonderful pot of phalaenopsis, and on a whim, a pot of dionaea (venus fly trap). i do hope the dionaea plant will thrive, since the only plant species that survive under my care are phalaenopsis orchids. even the cactus aren't immune to my deathly touch. apart from plants, i bought a copy of 'his dark materials' by phillip pullman, and motorola razr2 v9. that was fun. though a little stressful.
things are a little snippy at the moment. just so you know.
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a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, down down. this is really true. mary poppin would make a good politician, i think. queen of political intrigue and queen of subterfuge.
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my secret places have been rummaged through. i am very upset. i keep my secrets and personal life like a squirrel would store its supply of nuts for winter - little bits in several small places. i am very upset at that filthy racoon.
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i realise that it is quite a complex combination. i need to look up fox mythology. this interest me.
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the golden compass. a must watch. screw the nay sayers, it tugs at my heart strings. though i imagine mrs. coulter to be a little colder than nicole kidman's portrayal.
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i might be purchasing orchids tomorrow. the phalaenopsis genus to be a little precise. i heart phalaenopsis. i really do. i adore how it bloomed through and through with little light. it is so metaphorical and fascinating. i (emptily) promise to end this 'metaphorical' thing soon.
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i'm on a roll, seven posts in a row. another one by nietzsche that i love:
"After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands. "
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friedrich nietzsche said this: "Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent". i must comment however that i am glad this will be of no concern to me since i will never be burdened with women problems.
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i think too much about these things. i need to read a book.
i wonder if i am too old to still dream of being carried away to a far off land, filled with singing animals, and beautiful princes and magical unicorns. i maybe too practical for those things, but it sure would be nice to be swept away to a place where everything is pleasant, with a certain happy ending.
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i might've been made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. since i am superficially sweet and preoccupied with a sense of decorum, but the mysterious spice always rub off on people the wrong way. i bet you it's not cinammon, the creator must've experimented with my ingredients, and it could possibly be cayenne pepper. it has to be.
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every rose has its thorns. why won't people understand that?
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i took the little daemon test in the golden compass movie website, and my daemon is a fox.
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i find myself easily distracted lately. this is most disturbing, since it severyle affected my productivity and efficiency. i am defined by efficiency and if i lost that, what else do i have to offer these people?
perhaps i'm settling in too soon.
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i am supposed to be doing a task, but i find myself distracted by that picture. i kept looking at that picture, and this must stop. he is so distracting.
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my inner child is filled with joy.
i'll be taking a little trip full of 'discovery'. no, this is not one of those metaphorical thing. it is a place where you 'discover' things. very science-ish.
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people are too weird and literal. i like to live amongst friendly woodland creatures.
i wonder who coined the term 'unnatural', and what does she/he intend it to mean? it is funny how things are categorized as 'natural' and 'unnatural'. what if you're perceived to be 'unnatural', but sees yourself as all 'natural'? is there a third box i could check?
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this is exhausting. this little tango the universe and i had, and i seriously think this should end.
the universe have a queer way of putting me back in my place, whenever i felt i have soared above my usual stratosphere. this puzzled me to no end. sometimes i picture the universe as a metaphorical girl, dangling a catnip filled stuffed mouse on a string, and yanking it away as i - a metaphorical kitten- attempts to claw and grasp on the little pleasure thrown my way.
i need to be around happy things. things that are odd, cute, and are always exuding positive energies. i need to be around japanese school girls. sans creepy, perverse pornographer aura.
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If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." ~Robin Tyler
sometimes i waste my time wondering on trivial things that have no beneficial impact on my life whatsoever. even when i'm supposed to be doing a job. for instance, five minutes ago, i wonder if rita mae brown ever had bagels spread with cream cheese for three consecutive breakfasts. this intrigued me for some reason.
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i fear that i am becoming more and more alike barbara covett from 'notes on a scandal'. by god! i hope i do not turn into her. goddammit! away, evil spirit, away!
sorry.
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somehow i feel as though these things are unachievable. this upsets me a little. i do however enjoy a little gift the universe throws my way. that don't happen often. especially 'those' kind of gifts. and i'm not telling what 'those' is. [i don't do this often, but here's a smiley face to show how happy i am - :) ]
there are several things i would love to do before i expire; among them are 'spit on a random stranger', 'convince a 4 year old a walnut is a miniaturized cup cake', 'hurl triple fudge german chocolate cake at a russian', and 'discover a true genetically blue rose'.
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i spent way too much time reading material on 'the red queen' - not the novel my bargaret drabble (i have yet to reach past 2nd chapter), but the fictional character in 'through the looking glass'. she piqued my interest.
this interest me.
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i noticed that it has been a month since i posted anything. everything in life is chaotic - and thrilling. i think it's safe to say that finally i breathed. in a metaphorical sense, emerging from my cocoon - though not very life altering.
i find myself shifted to three different places within two months, and i am loving my third move. it feels very safe, closed and private.
i am drawn to another. either way, i shan't delve deeper for my bastard of a brother is aware of the existence of this space. perhaps the stars were right this time round.
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