wiki.dumper
- friedrich nietzsche
people.and.stuff
magmozine
a.guy.site
bad.chinese.mama
jejune.net
a.cause.des.garcons
spit.on.a.stranger
sluggernaut
honeyee
zefrank
born.a.waterhead
diane.pernet
tribe.net
gallery.of.the.absurd
world.community.grid
smarty.pants
bradford.shellhammer
wonder.boy
julie.fredrickson
fashionologie
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again, i am still feeling a little bruised. emotionally, not physically.
i saw blondie yesterday on my way to school. i didn't realsie it at first until she called my name. didn't speak much since i had to rush, and i still feel terible that i have not had a nice day out with her yet. i need to find a way to clear my school projects and mid term test. this is not going to be easy.
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that hurts. alot. i'm not going to pretend like it didn't. lucky for me, no one else knows the exact reason behind my bruised ego. as usual, i'm not telling.
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today have been an awful day for socialising. it felt as though the fountain of pheromones must have dried out, since i have an awkward time communicating with people. and this is made worse by my overtly sensitive brain by replaying the different awkward scenarios on loop, and somehow the story warped into an even worse scenario than what happened in reality.
i need to have lunch with blondie, only her vapid musings could take the focus away of my damaging, excessive self-reflection.
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it felt like a loadstone have been lifted off my shoulders. silencio.
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p.s - i never liked your cheesy choice of glasses.
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today have been very exciting indeed. i have fulfilled my promise to a bunch of fashionistas, and i made connections to people outside my social circle. interestingly, i abandoned slim jim. i felt terrible for dashing off, especially since he called me, perhaps to know of my whereabout since he must be waiting for me as i made the dash. i feel like a selfish prick - which i am on most days, but not on thursdays. since today is thursday, i feel bad for being so self-centered. besides, how was i supposed to know he was waiting for me. men are so weird aren't they? they want you to read their minds and anticipate the right actions. i could care less, really. but it's strange how people wants to get to know me, yet they never give a clue on how close they want to be with me. as sensitive to my surroundings as i am, i am still clueless on noticing people's affection towards me.
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i'm channeling eris again. this is wicked. pure wickedness. i threw the golden apple once more, and this time nothing might happen. but if something were to happen, i am milking it till the cows come home. this will be interesting. i can't wait to see how it unfolds.
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p.s - i don't think magneto is a villain. he's an anti-hero. with a healthy appetite for power, that's all.
obviously i have way too much time on my hands. but i do like the description though. very accurate. what will the offspring of catwoman and magneto look like? what superpowers will they have?
Your results:
You are Magneto
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Your results:
You are Catwoman
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at least that's what those optimistic, bubbly bastards say to themselves. i should try to be like them. they seem happy. i guess it's easy to be happy when the space between your skull are vapid.
the mantra on the right column of this blog is something i keeep chanting to myself, in hopes that i could abide by it. if you manage to read through my entries, my attempt at weeding out negative energies and words, were feeble at best. there's always room for improvement.
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i think far too much into things. terrible, overtly dramatic things. i need to be slapped.
my emotions are on the rise again. i think i know what to present on for 'it's time'. i doubt that my speech would be spectacular, but at the very least i will fulfill the requirements. i foresee a disaster. i will trip and fall flat on my face, and as a result, the embarassment triggered a heavy peristalsis in my intestines and let my bowel loose infront of the whole class.
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by the way, i don't see how some men could fall for viggo mortensen. he is so eww.
a history of violence seems promising. i am beginning to view david croenberg's movies. i love the subtle gay element interwoven in the storyline.
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i am terrible and judging a person's character. terrible.
in one of my earlier post (i think somewhere last month), i called someone a 'bastardo' for not replying to my thank you note. that person did reply to me today, and the reason for the delay was that she was out of the country to attend some course.
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oh, how i love the fifth season of reno 911.
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i have the tendency to undermine my own authority. i need to go on a hypnosis and correct this subconscious subterfuge.
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today was a little interesting. i came in class, slightly early, and a few people that i write off as 'cold, and unfriendly', spoke to me. i judge people too soon. given my melancholic, self-deprecating, suspicious nature, i tend to lable people so harshly.
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as we were chatting in the train, trannylita said to me that she overheard some jackass pass off some homophobic remark on a certain someone in class. bastardos.
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jesus, mary, and joseph. what the hell am i suppose to talk about...
it's time.
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today is a little interesting. i had a lovely, penetrating chat with trannylita. i think it's pretty self-explainatory why i gave her that alias. oh, i think i will have another quirky friend. i think i might invite trannylita to a lunch with me and flutterbug. i think they will love each other's company. non-sexual, of course.
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too much hate and loathing, i should state something that i love to balance things out. i love pedro almodovar's hable con ella (talk to her). i fucking love it and i cannot believe i missed it. i had the opportunity to watch it, and since i am in possession of the dvd, i will be watching it many times over. this i promise you.
i loathe group work. i had to bite my tongue and prevent from lashing out when she asked me to make those changes. i didn't like her contributions at all. but alas, i need to be a good guest and be accomodating to changes.
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barcelona or paris? that is the big question.
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maybe next week, i need to set a lunch date with flutterbug.
i had to turn down a lunch with flutterbug today (yes, i realise i assign the most off aliases to people in my life). i am swamped with reports and presentation for consumer behaviour. i am so swamped, i have little room for excitement.
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by the way, another friend from the past contacted me yesterday, and i thought it was so fantastic.
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jesus fucking christ.
i really like listening to sophie monk's get the music on. oh, before i forgot, i am rediscovering vanessa carlton's music. i fucking love the two songs on her latest album - home, and the one. i also love paradise, since it's depressing and broken - like my soul. anyway, i think she writes good depressing songs. i just hope i don't become a cutter by the end of listening to her albums.
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but seriously, i think it is an o.k movie. well, at least beowulf isn't so hard on the eyes.
i just watched beowulf. i was not very inclined on watching it, because the thought of watching semi-nude, computer generated, angelina jolie's body, thinly covered with dripping gold liquid, triggered an auto response where my genitals get sucked up my body cavity, and i vomit my entire gastro-intestinal content.
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i heart these quizzes.
Which Pixies song are you?
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i have no idea what the hell it is about, but i will explore it. maybe tomorrow.
i just discovered this site: the sentinel online.
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sometimes i wonder why i think about these things. i am too quirky to be around average people.
i feel so magical sometimes. like a fairy, that had an acrimonious split from the ruling party of a magical kingdom in an alternate dimension, dumped her entire supply of fairy dust on to me, as she tore her outfit in rage, and flee to the deepest forest in a self-imposed exile.
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i think quiet shy people are so self-absorbed. they think far too much of themselves and how they appear in public to pay much attention to other people. it's all me, me, me.
i am envious of people who are socially fluid, and flambouyant. i, on the other hand am an awkward, nervous, frosty, shrinking violet (yes, all of those at once).
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i need to go out and have fun with jelly belly and blondie. only those bastards can thaw my frostiness. i need some warmth and excitement. i think friends aren't so bad after all.
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i realise i might have bruised some ego, and ruffled some feathers, but i don't see why i should sink with the ship. truthfully, i find it terribly unfair that my grades should be affected, just so i should get on their good book.
i am having a little problem with my group members. i can't believe the lack of effort they showed in doing the project. i was appalled at the lack on insight and depth in their contributed work. i had to ignore their contirbutions and redo the entire project by myself (the first half, really, but that carried much of the weight), and i sent out a rather sharp message on the need to apply a little cognitive process and the need to discriminate between good answers derived from application of specified theories and half-assed, lazy attempt by 'copy and paste' from online sources. i mentioned how i find most of the contributions did not specifically asnwered the questions in the project, thus rendering them invalid.
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i realise that i'm gradually mentioning people in my posts. usually i restrain myself from mentioning anyone else and how they affect my life, and even if i must, i restrict it to only the actions they did that affected my emotions or thoughts. perhaps this is unavoidable. oh dear, people are slowly climbing over the picket fences i built around my life. this is a little unsettling. but interesting. i think.
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i think i did it again. i manage to frost myself in social situation. after class, on my way crossing the street, someone from class said hi to me, and i just smiled, took two steps away from him and cross the street, walking past him. i am terrible at social situations. it's still odd to me that after almost a month in class, i managed to only find company in aunty b (another alias for a person in my social life). this troubles me.
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it's odd how i could reject something when it is not in synch with my principles. how the hell am i suppose to sell out? goddammit.
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i had a lovely and lively conversation with someone in my past - a different person that the one i mentioned in previous post. i have long removed this particular person from my contact list, but i think it's time i re-introduce him to my social circle and phone book. as of today, whenever i mention him, i shall call him as jelly belly, so as to not reveal his real name. this could be interesting. i've always enjoyed our little banters and quirky non-sequitor conversaton, served with a heavy, piping hot dish of salacious gossip. i was quite surprised that he shared about his very humiliating departure from his previous hospital. it is always good to know, and besides, i need airy people that are good in socializing but lack in clarity of thought to make up for my lack of social skills. they can be my sock puppet while i manoeuvre through strangrs that i must make contact with but could hardly stand their presence or make an effort to initiate small talks.
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i refuse to be bought at such a cheap price. i am fully aware of my worth, and that is it. i am ending it completely, and the deal is off. now i know, my decision wasn't a mistake.
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this is unnatural.
something odd happened on the way to work today. i sat alone in the back of the bus while staring at the windows to the side. my mind was blank. that by itself is weird - usually, i pretend like i'm riding a pretty pink pony all the way to valhalla. all right, i'm kidding. but my thoughts were subdued by a mysterious serenity. i didn't think the usual stuff that my head conjured, "will this bus crash head-on and my body will be severed in half?", "i wonder if i will mate with an extra-terrestrial being?", "did i actually wear pants today?", and other stuff like that.
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actually, i should be spending this time studying, since i have yet to open my consumer behaviour text book for the past two days, and truthfully, i am quite bored with the preparation for the class presentation. it is tiresome and i lost my interest in that subject. this is bad. bad! as a punishment for this transgression, i shall be denied exfoliating and moisturising privileges for a week.
today would be my final day at this place. fortunately, my final day coincides with some festivities (not mardi gras), and work hours are cut short by half. splendid. i have the entire half of the day to do stuffs. i have yet to conjure a plan to do all those 'stuffs', but i think i might spend those time tending to my orchids, my (not in good shape) dionaea, rabbits and chinchilla.
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the photos of the ispahan weren't of good quality, i used my v9 phone camera to snap those. those photos didn't do it justice, in showcasing how pretty it looks in real life, and how deliciously light, yet creamy it tastes. if i had my way, i would have dedicated a sixty minutes documentary on it, but i lack the equipment and mental fortitude, so those photos will do.
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these are the picture of the ispahan:
more closeups; the little clump of white 'growth'on the top shell is from another dessert that stuck to it on the journey back to the workplace, due to improper handling. the top raspberry and bits of lychees were displaced. i loved the rose petal, it's delicious too. 
after i ate the top half of the ispahan. the rose buttercream was delicious.
half eaten bottom half. there's even a few bits of pomegranate seeds:
i must have more ispahan.
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i need to eat less muffin and carbohydrate...
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though, i must say, i did not eat much during lunch since i do have a bit of a problem with people watching me eat - just makes me feel vulnerable and intruded, so i end up with a vanilla creme brulee and a valhorna chocolate. the creme brulee was paltry, but makes up with it's lack of quantity with quality. truthfully, i simply love to tap the caramelised surface of the creme brulee, and that was the main reason why i ordered it.
lunch was good. i made some deals. i think i would be fine. i think negotiating deals would be my new favourite past time then. it is so sweet when the deal lean towards your favour.
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i'll post the picture of the delicious red temptress later on.
could it be? ispahan to replace muffin as my preferred pastry/baked goods of choice?
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i will be lunching with the big dogs. we'll see how this goes. goddammit, i need to pull as many strings as i can. my future depends on it.
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i will be assigning aliases to the people i meet, since being cryptic just thrills me.
i wonder how my interaction with mr.squiggly be the next time i sit next to him. i hope i don't have to compute silly little talk to not appear dull.
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i've got a long day ahead of me. fuck yeah! i love being busy.
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planetary aspect: sun trine neptune - ...often have special connection to animals...these people are not ones to dominate others or assert themselves to the point of brashness...
touche.
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now, i need to know what the hell i will be writing about.
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i should be amongst the animals. friendly ones. herbivores, really. is there a forest that is purely inhabited by domesticated herbivores such as rabbits, chinchillas, fancy mice, canaries, and the occassional koalas? that is the kind of forest that i would live in. of course, there must be built-in air-conditioning, and a soft comfy bed, with a fully functional toilet bowl surrounded by four walls (privacy is important), and internet access. i want to live in a forest, but i don't want to sacrifice my privileges.
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i am against circumcision. just so you know. although it is aesthetically pleasing with the hood off. all right, i'll shut up now.
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also, where can i purchase an israeli men? is there a catalogue for that? or has that trend not shifted from vietnam to israel yet? oy!
have you seen that calender of israeli men? i mean, come on, people. i think they are god's chosen people. if the military here is filled with men that looked like that, i would voluntarily join the army, goddammit.
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they're so cute you just want to snap their spine, stomp their feeble little body on the ground, and scrape their intestines and toss them to the alley cats...kidding. i'm totally kidding. obviously, i need mental distraction.
i'm distracted. as evidence by my random posts. i have been seriously contemplating on having a pet mouse. those fancy mouse are pretty cute. it's the year of the rat, so i thought a...close relative of the rat would be a nice addition to the household.
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i heart my father's canaries. those spanish timbrados are wonderful. green canaries are way better than yellow ones. yellow canaries are so overrated.
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i think i should have a jewish partner. well, two reasons, really; first, to piss off my father (i know, that is so infantile), and second (the major reason), is so i could find a reason to do the hora with other jewish members of his family. that is the worst reason, i know.
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i'm reconnecting with my cousin, it's funny how disconnected you've become when you refuse to tend the diminishing flames of relationship. relationships are hard to maintain.
he will be leaving really soon. in fact, i think he is already gone. i knew from the get go, he couldn't come close to me. he couldn't reach my spot, no matter how hard he tries. now he's gone...actually i'm going too, but i have an edge over him.
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i sent a thank you note to someone last week, and i have yet to receive a thank you for my thank you note. bastardos.
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itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini...man, i remember listening to that song when i was 10. i can't believe my teacher made us listen to oldies. when i was a kid, i thought the songs my grandparents listened to were cheesy. it still is, but i secretly love it, nonetheless.
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the phone on my desk rang...that is bizzare since i am an intern and no one calls me...maybe it's a wrong number or something...i shall not pick up.
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i met someone form my past today. it's been years since we chatted, and it was quite a pleasure to see her again on my way to work. she would be a welcoming disruption to my stagnant schedule at this moment. i can't wait to revisit the memories and rekindle with other old friends.
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i wish things would go back to the good old days.
i thought i received an e-mail from margaret cho - you know, the comedienne that lost a hefty amount of weight...and with it, her humour. anyway, i clicked on the e-mail, only to realise, it was 'margaret kho'; some lady from human resource. jesus fucking christ. though, it would be nice to receive a mail from margaret cho. i love her self-deprecating humour, but too bad her assassin tour wasn't anywhere the same league as her i'm the one that i want standup comedy.
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the pekingese is the right dog for me. it's a metter of time before i have one as my animal companion.
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